soul all stuck to my face

Wes Carr is a musician who recently won Australian Idol but he's been sitting on bar stools for ten years and writes a lot of his own songs, and he has put an album on iTunes and I downloaded some of the songs, I'll get to the others later. I really like his original songs but there's this one song that I'd call my favourite, 'Soul All Stuck To My Face". I just like the notion. This is the chorus:

No I can’t get up,
No I couldn't get up.
And I’m lying here,
Too drunk to face the day.
And I’m stuck in your desperate doorway,
With my soul all stuck to my face.

So to me, it's about a person that you are completely open with, a person that you can talk to when you're down, when you're in despair. So for many people that's their husband or wife, boyfriend of girlfriend, or maybe it's just a really close friend.

Anyway, this is kind of leading to me. There's this guy I know. I don't know him that well though, I've only met him a few times. But it's strange; I would tell him almost anything. I have told him things that I've only told 1 or 2 other people, and they're close friends. Yet, I felt more comfortable telling him than them. Strange. I don't know if it's just because I feel like he's had the same kind of experience as me or what. Is it just because he's one of those people that you feel won't ever repeat what you say to anyone else? Maybe it's just I feel he'll understand. I don't know. I guess we both kind of have similar interests too which no doubt helps. And he seems the intelligent and thoughtful type. Maybe I feel like I could tell him almost anything because I don't him that well. I won't see him tomorrow. hmm...no I don't think it's that, but it might contribute at the moment.

I like the idea of having my soul all stuck to my face though. I mean, obviously not all the time, but sometimes, I'm sure it'd be a healthy thing, but I'm yet to experience the full extent of it. I think if I got to know this guy better, especially so it wasn't weird for me to tell him such personal things, then I'd possibly end up with my soul all stuck to my face when I talked to him. I just hope I at least get the chance to become good friends with him.

blessed, not happy

So this is an old blog, like over 6 months. Don't know exactly when I wrote it. It was the kind of thing where one thing led to another and I ended up writing about different things than what I expected. I'm kind of re-writing it now though, partly 'cause I need something to post.

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So I had heard this quote a while ago (I should mention that it's a partial quote and I still agree with it in its full form):

"Being miserable requires effort - you have to ignore a lot of things."

At the time, I had thought it an excellent quote, a real positive way to approach life, and perhaps that was a good thing for me at the time, an intermediate step to a greater understanding. I guess it was one of the quotes that really made me try and see the beautiful, and no I wasn't depressed and unable to see beauty or anything, but I had limited appreciation I think, at least looking back anyway.

I thought about the quote in terms of opposites. I wondered, if being miserable requires effort in that you have to ignore a lot of things, what does happiness require? I wondered, does it work to say "Being happy requires effort - you have to ignore a lot of things"? And I think that is also true. I thought, maybe it's just that there are different kinds of happiness; the type that comes from ignoring everything that displeases you, and maybe there is a type that comes from a certain contentment but awareness. Or maybe happy just isn’t a very good word to use.

And then it clicked.

There is a song called Happy Is A Yuppie Word. I've read the song story and it comes from a Bob Dylan quote. He is asked by Rolling Stone magazine on the occasion of his 50th birthday if he is happy. He replies, "These are yuppie words; happiness and unhappiness. It's not happiness or unhappiness; it's blessed or unblessed." I've read it many times and thought yeah whatever. I mean I thought it was a nice sentiment and all, but just as I wrote this blog (or when I wrote the original), as I sat there trying to justify happiness without ignorance, this seems to be the solution. Blessed is a much better word.

I feel like 'blessed' encapsulates a larger understanding. I think it captures an awareness and broader view than happiness. To know that there are horrible things going on in the world; but to know that there is so, so much beauty, and love, and hope. A happiness without ignorance. Kind of like a contentment but at the same time a discontent that moves you to action. I think it's the kind of thing that only works with a knowledge of the existence of God. Well, that's how it makes sense to me anyway. But I'm not going to get into the existence of God in this post, it's quite long enough and I'm not done yet.

Going back to the original quote, I don't think it's a ridiculous notion at all. I appreciate the idea of it, but have to conclude that it's also necessary not to ignore the things that might make you miserable. Balance is best. "If you approach life and forget about the atrocities that we commit, then you're not being honest. And if you approach life and simply look at the terrible things and forget about the amazing aspects of what it means to be alive, then you're going to be suicidal. So, somewhere in the middle is honesty and embracing all of life."

In reality, I don't think it's physically (or mentally?) possible to be aware of everything at once. So I guess we live our entire lives in a state of ignorance. Just depends on what things it is that you are ignorant of at a particular moment. So when you're not ignorant of the things that require change, that require action, you'd better do something about it. Fill yourself with the hope that inspires change, because "every day you're alive, you change the world."

sometimes it's full, sometimes it's empty

There seems to be such a debate about it. Is the glass half full or half empty?

Personally, ignoring the whole concept of pessimism and optimism, I think it's simple.

I say, the glass is half full if you're filling it up, and half empty if you're emptying it.

Disagree if you want, but I've never much liked that debate.